Mommy, when someone says “I don’t know” it means “no” because it has the word “no” in it.
This is what my school age child said to me J. The only thing I could do was smile and chuckle. It is interesting to see how our little ones see the world and interpret what we say.
I am happy to say our children like to express their thoughts; especially when we tell them they are doing well. As adults, we never sit to think exactly how our words will and can translate in our children young mind.
A lot of discussion about discipline has been going around in my work environment lately. My ultimate advice to any parent is to do what you think is best when it comes to your child or children. There are times when I think I will react a certain way, then an unexpected information will come through and my entire view of the situation will change.
Discipline doesn’t always have to be negative. Sumitha Bhandarkar, from A Fine Parent, wrote a great article on positive discipline – Positive Discipline 101: How to Discipline a Child in a Way That Actually Works, where she talks about “the idea of discipline being synonymous with punishment is ingrained in our psyche. The first thing we think of when we hear the word “discipline” is usually something negative.”
In our home, we use discipline as an opportunity to learn, not just for punishment. For example, depending on the situation, when the children are “in trouble” there are times we make them read more books then they would normally read on a “normal” day. Then we will dissect the story, and see what lessons we can learn from the story as it relates to their misbehavior.
Sometimes discipline is a way of teaching our kids how to take control of a situation. For example, we have a child who’s very impatient. So, when we see this child begin to be impatient, the first thing we say is “remember the rule…count”. Shortly after we slowly start seeing our child calm down, breath slower, and take time to complete the task. Though this technique work with one child, it doesn’t work with all of our children. Again, understanding your child is key when it comes to discipline and the situation. Our house is full, so we do our best to keep it as simple as it comes when handling unwanted and wanted behaviors. Here below are 4 discipline techniques that works for us.
As egocentric as this may sound, kids are program to please us. I do the “woo-hoo” song in the house and in public (I sometimes forget where I am when the kids do something I am really pleased with). So, the minute they do something I am proud of, I put my two index fingers up and shake my body from side to side and shout woo-hoo, woo-hoo woo-hoo! They ABSOLUTELY love it!! The look on their face is priceless. Complimenting your kids not only reflect good behavior, but also reinforces that special relationship with them.
Removing ourselves is not only the solution. We also remove toys, gadgets, even after school activities.
- Set Clear Expectations
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “there’s an age for everything”. Though that may be true for certain things; however, in our home there is no limitations where expectations are concern. I’ve heard people say “are you sure you want to do this to your house? You have small children”. My response is always the same. Yes! Our children know the rules. Fortunately for us we have raised our kids to understand boundaries. We don’t believe in “they’re too young”. Kids are like sponges, the more you teach them or introduce them, to various factors of life, the more they will soak things up. Once they understand the house rules, you will be surprised of how much they will mimic your behavior.
- Offer Options
When it’s time for school, the night before we pick out the outfits together. We also have a rule that once we choose our clothes to wear for the next day, there is no changing it. This rule keep us moving, stay on schedule, and arrive at our destination on time without a fuss.
As Sumitha stated “discipline originates from the Latin word ‘disciplina’ which means teaching, which in turn comes from ‘discipulus’ which literally translates to pupil”.
Though we often think of discipline in a negative manner, there are a lot of positives from the definition of this word. Use the best technique that fits you and your child.
What are some of the ways you discipline?